Full circle

Sunday, June 2, 2024

Every morning I wake up and I’m lulled into deception as the sunrise brings beautiful skies and milder wind and seas. I guess even Mother Nature needs to take a break from wreaking havoc on every nook and cranny of the earth. But soon I’m reminded of her presence, her fury. When will I learn?

With the high winds and seas we’ve had two reefs in the main sail to keep from overpowering the mast, risking demasting. I knew lighter winds were coming and each morning I had hoped that this was morning that happened. As the winds weakened our speed decreased. In order to keep our speed up, I would need to increase our sail area. I’ve become obsessed with the numbers. How do I make them bigger? I want to get to Azores as early as humanly possible. I have no control over the wind speed, but I can increase the sail area by taking reefs out. But I have to be careful. There are squalls lurking in the area, just waiting to pounce.

But I still decide it’s time to take the reefs out of the main sail. But for now I only take out one, and wait to see what the wind does. So far it’s maintaining, so I take the second reef out. And in that next instant, the winds and the sea come out of hiding and attack. This isn’t good. Winds are suddenly 26 knots apparent. I have to quickly depower the sails. I must undo my error in judgment. It’s a painful lesson.

It doesn’t look like it will let up any time soon. We are in the middle of squall valley. It’s causing wind and waves to swirl and attack from all directions. As each wave hits the underside of the boat, it sounds like a bomb exploding. This goes on for two more days. I have many bruises and scrapes from this last week. They are my battle scars.

Sunday comes and everything is different. We have entered the eye of the Low pressure system, where no wind exists. The seas are once again flat and serene. How can this be the same ocean that, just yesterday, was tossing us around like we were made of paper. So now we must, once again, motor. We have 200 nautical miles to go. We will be in Azores tomorrow afternoon. Our journey is about to come to an end.

As I reflect on this last week and a half, I see reflection of life. Just like life, we will end this journey just like it started, with calm beautiful seas, light winds and engines helping us to find our way. But soon we’re able to raise our sails and take flight, heading into the unknown and figuring things out by trial and error. We face obstacles, we triumph, we’re scared, we’re proud of our accomplishments. We go through very difficult times and we have times of peace and joy. There are times when we succeed and times when we fail. But we stay the course. We learn so much about our boat and ourselves. We can handle much more than we have given ourselves credit for and we have come out stronger in the end. But then the journey must come to an end. The winds fade and seas flatten. We must cross that finish line with the assistance of our engines. I am ready. I am fulfilled by this journey. It has been hard, but it has also been amazing. It’s truly a once in a lifetime experience.